June 19, 2009 QUESTION OF THE WEAK: What is B. M. I. ? TRAGIC VALLEY COURTHOUSE Yep the MEATWAGON service has ben all over the news lately. So we went to find out whats a matter with the truth. It seems that FEDS are ready to modify our behavior on FATS and of course SUGAR now that theys got smoking under control. The F.B. I. that's Friendly But Ignorant swooped in yesterday and arrested commishs THIRDARMOR and NOPOSTAGEREQUIRED among other for having to make three trips every time they goes some place. It is against the law to have that big a CARBON foot print ya no. The MEATWAGON service is of course about the money and the service wanting to charge by the POUND. Theys said that the over load springs was a wearing out reel fast. The PUPPET mayor was fined cause he is the mayor and cause he convinced them that he was made out of wood. Commish FORKEDTONGUE lied his way out of trouble and cause he is friendly but ignorant 2. Any who the vote on this mess will be on the 29TH of june at 6pm and word on the street is that they will tie the price to B.M.I. that is Body Mass Index. So see the tax payers ant got nutin to worry about. The magic money is on the way from the feds to pay for this service course we don't know who provides this money cause thar is so many different kinds. Say recon who the feds are and wear theys get that money no how. Don't you feel STIM-U-LATE-ED we hope so cause that means sumthin is moving and your are burnin pounds. IN OTHER NEWS FROM T.V.C. The Puppet Mayor has decided it looks undignified for him to always be a hanging around by his strings. So dun went and built him a GRANDSTAND on the square so all can see hims move his mouth. Course he ant never said nutin worth hereing but that don’t seam to matter. He likes a spitten splinters. It is gitten on toard voting time and PUPPET is warming up but not to much so as not to catch on fire. We was a wonderin if the PUPPET was a gonna be out of town with his GIRL BUDDY this summer ifin ya no give us a call. TRAGIC VALLEY COMMISSION Amonkest the action what looked at this month was the problem with the PUPPET. It seams that the sins of the PUPPET Mayor are a visitin on the tax payers and will be on till the third or fourth generation. Ah! Shucks its summer time batter up pay ya'll. WHO CARES, editor March 1, 2010 QUESTION OF THE WEAK: Have ya noticed The word jobs poping up must be election time? TRAGIC VALLEY COURTHOUSE The Tragic Valley Puppet mayor dun went and saved the valley. Yep he be the one that applied for grants and bought us jobs, jobs, jobs. You no thems jobs he promised us. At least he be a boy that wont lie to ya a tall. Read More... February 21, 2010 QUESTION OF THE WEAK: Say recond how far below the bottom can a valley go when compared to other valleys? Well we folks what lives in T. Valley noes that a storm is a brewing. Yep that thar bunch what runs the dump is trying to gets us an up dated version of the puppet mayor. You noes one with know strings. Read More... February 12, 2010 QUESTION OF THE WEAK: Why is it that this hear Valley don't need no food for thought? TRAGIC VALLEY COURTHOUSE Well lordy be the PUPPET Mayor dun went an did him a news release. "Yes, I be bes da one that what formed the SPLINTER group. Yep I is the daddy of thems being so many running in the mayors race." Read More... Copyright © 2009 Tragic Valley News - All rights reserved.